thegestianpoet:

if you have never held a soft cat against your bare chest

u are Missing Out 

iguanabones:

first date ideas: show your date to everybody in town… wearing a salmon suit

image

(Source: iguanamouth)

stelmarias:

I think I have a pretty good body for someone who miscalculated this planet’s dominant indigenous species and had to construct this form as a last-minute assimilation effort.

goonsac:

[job interviewer voice] we found naked pictures of you during a quick google search for your name and we wish to inform you…… that your bod is slammin’ 10/10 you’re hired see you monday